Love Goes Deeper Than The Outer
by Lizzy Wright
Summary: That's one thing that you love about Santana. And if you were to be asked, you'd say this is the least thing you love of all things Santana. Not that you don't like Santana's features, obviously, 'cause you just spent like, 15 minutes long gazing at your unsuspecting girlfriend. But there are things you love more than that. Things that everybody else doesn't know.


**Dammit, what the hell is wrong with my mood today? I'm tired but I can't stop writing fics T_T and I... I don't know what I just wrote. I just know that I finished it and ta-da. The previous fic was all fun and this fic... I think i'm getting my period.**

**That's kind of TMI.**

**And I'm sorry because I just _had _to get it out and here I am. Already writing another. Just pray that I don't finish this one I'm currently getting my hands on 'cause unfinished means it won't end up in the list of stories i published. **

**so, uh.. enjoy**

* * *

You were leaning on the kitchen counter, head tilted to the side as you watched your girlfriend eating her ice cream on the couch.

"Britt?"

The droplets on her chin that she quickly wiped off-by her tongue-her eyes, smoldering even though she was just watching some reality show on tv, her tan bare legs that showed because she's wearing the shorts that you liked-a fact which Santana knew so well-and she's-

"Brittany?"

-been calling you for a few seconds and you didn't hear?

"Um, yeah?"

"What are you doing?"She asked,"I thought you wanted to share the ice cream?"

You blinked,"…Right."

"Okay..?"Santana said, a little perplexed,"Brittany? Hey."she snapped her fingers several times. And the last snapping caught your attention.

A smile crept out onto your face, revealing her white teeth that you claimed to be broken-which is a total lie. Santana would know.

Santana furrowed her eyebrows.

"What's wrong? You look... Distraught."

A worried expression was etched on her face, and you couldn't help admiring her features that you had always adored ever since meeting her for the first time.

"Nothing,"you finally replied, smiling,"you look amazing, that's all."

Santana raised her eyebrow, before laughing.

"Britt, I'm wearing baggy T's and shorts, messily eating ice cream, and you say I look amazing?"she asked still with slight laughter,"You're exaggerating. Come sit with me and eat your share of ice cream, or I'll eat it all before you even get a chance to sit."

You grinned, before taking a seat beside Santana and didn't even bother taking the spoon from the table. You merely opened your mouth and Santana, rolling her eyes with a smile, continued to feed you.

That's one thing that you love about Santana. And if you were to be asked, you'd say this is the least thing you love of all things Santana.

Not that you don't like Santana's features, obviously, 'cause you just spent like, 15 minutes long gazing at your unsuspecting girlfriend.

But there are things you love more than that.

* * *

"No."

"Santana, please?"

"No is _no_, hobbit. I don't want to do it and that's final."Santana said with a hateful look on her face, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Rachel looked at you, hopeful look in her eyes and you shook your head.

"She says no, Rachel."You said, in case she didn't hear it the first time.

'Cause you know Rachel, she doesn't listen when the answer isn't what she wants.

Rachel huffed and muttered quietly,"Fine."before going back to her seat beside Finn, sulking.

Your girlfriend groaned,"I swear, she destroys my mood whenever she's in sight."

You rubbed her back soothingly, placing a quick peck to her lips and she instantly softened, smiling at you in her way of quietly saying thanks.

"What was that all about?"

Quinn, always the curious one, pulled a seat beside Santana and sat, her eyes curiously darting to Rachel.

"Nothing,"Santana quickly said,"Just a good girl gone bad phase she's having."

Quinn furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, and she automatically turned towards you, asking for an explanation like people always do if Santana said something and they need a translation.

"Rachel asked San to do something for her,"You explained,"She refused."

"Because I'm _too _lazy."

"It's, you know, Finn-related."You shrugged.

You didn't understand why Rachel would do that for Finn. Your love goes way too deep for Santana, which you know is more than Rachel and Finn could ever be, but even then, you would never do that for Santana. It's _degrading. _It's like a personality slavery.

And most of all, it's not a relationship.

"Oh," Quinn said, rolling her eyes,"she really needs to stop being a child and realize that Finn isn't worth it."

And you notice how Quinn always gets irritated whenever Finn is in the conversation topic.

You don't know if Quinn herself noticed, though.

Santana kept quiet, and you saw her eyes moved towards where Rachel was sitting before darting around again, constantly sending glares to Mercedes's way to which the girl laughed in reply.

Later, when it's only you and Santana alone in the privacy of your bedroom, Santana finally spoke.

"I can't believe her,"she said, looking up to the ceiling as if she would find the answers there,"why would she do that?"

"Who?"You asked, because even though a lot had happened that day, you know it was Rachel. But asking that would spur Santana on in letting her thoughts out. So you did.

"Berry!" She said in frustration, "Like, really? Finn is one hell of a douche, I can't believe I slept with him."

You still get hurt whenever it's mentioned, and Santana often forgets about it.

But after she forgets, she would always remember.

"Wait, baby I'm sorry,"she hurriedly said and scooted closer to where you're laying,"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up-"

"It's okay," you smiled, "we slept with a lot of people, Finn is just one of them." you laughed, trying to pretend you didn't take it badly.

She smiled tightly, and you couldn't help opening your arms so that she would fall between them.

You never told her that her one night stand with Finn hurt the most compared to whenever she mentioned her other one night stands. You've never told her that it hurt you the most because it's a one night stand that hurt her the most.

But somehow, you think she knows.

"That girl is something,"she whispered into your chest, and the way you're cuddling up against each other would make you laugh if it weren't for the person that was nestled so comfortably on your body,"she doesn't know what she wants."

"Mhhm?" You hummed, pulling her closer against you.

"Yeah," she answered, "she's willing to change herself for him. Like, what is that?"she asked incredulously.

You just listened to her silently, rocking back and forth once in a while.

"And I don't understand how he thinks doing a _crime_ is count _as hot_," she frowned, "it's bad, it's bad for her and what's worse that it's addictive, she could never stop once she tries and it'll destroy her."

You felt Santana snuggling into you, and for a second you wondered how a rumor of her doing illegal transaction and prostitution could even existed.

She raised her face, until now her chin was resting against your chest. You smiled and gave her a quick kiss, letting her know that she's doing the right thing by refusing.

The day after, when it's time for glee club and Rachel still thought that Santana refused just because she merely hated her, and Finn that harbored an even bigger hatred towards your girlfriend because she lashed out at him pretty much every chance she could, you knew better.

You always know better.

And judging from Quinn's confused expression, she knew. Because when you don't react to Santana's behavior, there's something hidden that everybody but you, knew.

And that, is one of Santana's trait that you also love. Her hidden kindness.

* * *

And this, this is what always happens when you're making love to her.

"Britt."She panted.

Ever since she came around her fears and you two began dating, she'd never avert her eyes from yours whenever you're doing the deed. Let alone closing her eyes, like she always did.

"I love you." She said, with her eyes glazed and she looked like she's about to cry.

And she'd always say those three words she was so scared of even thinking almost several months ago.

And those words hit you like a train every time, and every time you couldn't help the smile and the happiness that bubbles in your chest. Sometimes you even cry with her.

"I love you too, San." You choked out. And when she smiled up at you tearily between moans and pants, you couldn't help break a little bit more inside for her.

You love her so much.

And vulnerable she was, always making your heart does things you don't know possible, that you thought only happen in stories, in which even then, it's not enough to describe the whole feeling thing you're experiencing.

You love her. You love all of her.

You love her when she's guarded, you love her when she's bitchy, you love her when she's flirty, but most of all, you love her most when she's like this.

When she's vulnerable.

It's like everyone else is a jerk for not loving her.

And you thank God endlessly for that.

Because if everyone else saw this side of Santana, you're sure they all will fall deep in love with your girlfriend.

And really, you don't like that at all.

* * *

"Sansan!"

"Hey, munchkin! I haven't seen you for so long!"

The girl in Santana's arms giggled in happiness, while you just scrunched up your nose in confusion.

Didn't Santana just see her, like, a week ago?

"I swear, you're getting taller and taller everyday,"she said, picking up the little girl into her arms,"one day you're going to surpass my height. I'm sure of that."

The girl continued giggling. And really, you found her real cute.

"Oh, you remember the girl I always told you about?"Santana suddenly asked, and your ears perked up at this.

The little munchkin nodded furiously, suddenly looking eager.

"D'you want to meet her?"

"Ya!"She answered instantaneously, making you giggle.

"Okay, wait for it, wait for it," Santana said slowly as she, almost dramatically, turned around to face you,"there she is! Meet my girlfriend, bubbly Lee."

And you're wondering where 'bubbly Lee' came from, but you couldn't help but smile wide to the sight before you.

"What's your name?"you cooed, leaning down to meet her sparkling eyes.

"Her name's Sofie."Santana answered, bouncing the little girl in her arms, and constantly playing with Sofie's little, chubby arms.

"Awww, aren't you cute?"you asked, scrunching your nose, and the little girl giggled in amusement.

"Are you a super girl?"

You, taken aback by the question, raised your eyes questioningly to Santana.

And you were confused to find her blushing.

"Um.." You hesitated, because this is a little _girl_, asking, and she really didn't want to spoil her fantasy.

"Yes, yes, she's the super girl, sweetie," Santana quickly answered for you, "and her name is Brittany."

"Oh, there you are! I was wondering if you're finally tired of having lunch with an old man and decided not to come, oh, hey, Brittany."A man in his forties near fifty approached them, all with the Lopez charm in his white coat that Santana had always admired him in.

"Carlos."You nodded your head with a smile in greeting to him, and he smiled softly back in response.

"That's ridiculous," Santana shook her head with a little grin, "hey, dad."

"Hello to you too, pumpkin,"He kissed her head, before looking down and noticing the flustered little girl in Santana's arms,"oh hello hello, Sofie. Where has Josh run off to?"

Sofie raised her little, chubby hand, and pointed to where a male nurse was flirting with a girl that was waiting for medicine.

"That guy," Carlos ran a hand through his greying hair, "Josh!"

He yelled not too loudly, and miraculously, like it's happened thousand times before, Josh snapped his neck towards Carlos and began running back like he's anticipated it.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Lopez!" He apologized, panting, "I was just-"

"Flirting with a high schooler," Carlos finished, "Sofie's wandering and you don't even notice! You're lucky my daughter got her. Now go, time's over and deliver Sofie back to her room. One more time this happens and I'll make sure you're fired."

_Whoa._

Now you know where Santana got it from.

The quivering male nurse nodded, and Santana wordlessly handed Sofie, who looked like she was about to cry the second she's out of Santana's arms (you've had your fair share of that moment, too).

You saw him checking Santana out briefly, and your eyes narrowed.

"No checking my daughter out, you little perv," Carlos smacked his arm, "now go away! Don't appear in my sight for the next five hours!"

"Y-yes, yes sir!"

"C'mon, let's have lunch." Carlos said, once Josh was out of sight and Sofie's wailing could be heard faintly from where they were standing.

They followed Carlos to the cafeteria of the hospital, and you couldn't help but whisper.

"Children love you, don't they?" you asked with a little grin.

Santana just laughed, "No, they don't. They like me because I let them eat sweets while their parents don't allow them."

And you know it's not true.

Because wherever Santana goes, and there are children around, if the children even got to know Santana for a _day,_ they'll be hooked.

Just like your sister is hooked to your girlfriend.

Well, you totally understand why they love her so much, though.

You had never met someone as lovable as she is, until she showed up in the cheerios locker room and flashed you a little smile that got you hooked.

Just like those little kids.

* * *

There are tons of other things that you love about Santana, things that get your knees weaker every time, things that made Santana, _Santana_.

And sometimes you're really upset-mad, even, that other people can't see that.

"You know, Santana," you raised your head when he raised his voice, your face contorted in disbelief, "you need to stop bitching us out and actually help!"

"That's right, Santana," Rachel stood up, defending her boyfriend, "You really should stop hating us all, unreasonably, might I add, and partake in the family that has existed in your 3 _years _of high school."

Quinn scoffed, and you've never loved her more, "Please, Rachel. Who broke this, 'family', into sides in freshman year? Oh, or in the junior year! No, something happened too in the-"

"Quinn." Santana whispered. Quinn turned and looked at you, trying to find support. You just gave Finn the chilliest look you've ever given anyone, and you're so satisfied that he noticed.

"You-you really should stop," Finn's eyes darted towards you constantly, "You really should stop being a bitch, Santana!"

You heard Tina gasped. And you shook your head, because all of this was so _childish_.

"And you think you don't deserve being _bitched _at, Hudson?"

And the fact that Santana pretended to be _bitchy _to guard herself up, and other fact that Finn didn't even notice the hurt that Santana felt-

"Santana," you whispered. Santana tried not to avert her eyes from Finn's, "Baby."

That certainly got Santana's attention.

She turned to you, with a look that you could only describe as hurt, with a look that only you could see.

"Go home, okay?" You said, rubbing your hand up and down her arm, "I'll handle this."

She was seconds away from crying, and you knew that. And you're not going to give Finn the satisfaction of winning when he's actually the one in the blind side.

Santana nodded, because she knew you knew.

You pulled her to you and pressed a kiss to her forehead, which Finn scoffed at.

"I'll drive her home." Quinn volunteered, standing up.

"Thanks, Q," You smiled, "I'll come over after school, okay?" You said to Santana.

Santana just smiled, her eyes drooping. You silently motioned to Quinn to watch out, because Santana looked like she could pass out anytime soon.

"A coward now?" Finn asked, feeling triumph, "You're gonna go home now and avoid all of us?"

"Finn, sit," you ordered, "you too, Rachel."

From the corner of your eyes, you could see Quinn making a decapitation movement on the way out of the choir room with her tongue out to Mercedes who tried to hold in her laughter.

Rachel meekly sat down, though every definition of upset was still gracing her features.

"Brittany's pissed, Finn," Kurt informed him, like he didn't know already, "better step off and sit. She's not the same Brittany when she's mad."

Actually, you're the same when you're mad. You're you, why does it change when you're mad?

Then again, only Santana and Quinn knew who you actually are.

You stepped down to the floor and pulled a chair to the center of the room.

Finn's expression was mixed, between scared of what was coming, and satisfaction because he thought Santana went home because he succeed in crushing her after years of her crushing him.

"Santana's been sick all day," you started after you've finally sit down, "So I told her to go home. Her, snapping, would only make her condition worse."

"That's bullsh-"

"You didn't notice that her skin is pale, did you?"

You asked, crossing your arms.

"H-huh?"

"Well, Santana looked kind of sick." Rachel said weakly, trying to remember.

"She's been sick for days but she doesn't want to stay home," you said, and your expression remained cold, "but that's a story for another day."

"But-"

"Let's start from the beginning. You're mad because?" You asked to Finn, and his eyes widened.

"Well," he said, looking down and up like an annoyed child that caught guilty, "the same thing like last year."

"Kissing booth got us a big sum of money, Brittany," Rachel supported her boyfriend, "and Santana was being very disrespectful to him for trying to help and insult him in every way I can't even imagine-"

"Santana shot down the idea because she thinks it's horrible," you cut her off, and Rachel was about to open her mouth again but you cut her off again, "it's horrible because it got Quinn involved last year and she's not happy because she loves Quinn. Simple as that. "

"That's-That's a selfish reason," Rachel said, "besides, it wasn't the kissing booth's fault that they-"

You rolled your eyes, "Finn did it because his intention was to _kiss _Quinn and now he just wants to enjoy kissing _girls_." Rachel seemed shocked by your explanation, but you didn't know why. It's obvious, clear as water.

"And Santana thinks it's a horrible idea, also, because him getting to kiss girls will raise his ego and disrespectful of _you, _Rachel, for him to even think that he could allow himself thinking of that because he's still dating you."

You sighed, finally letting it all out to all of these disbelief expressions on the people that didn't know _anything _about your girlfriend. And you feel slightly satisfied. Slightly.

"I'm just letting you all know because San wouldn't say it herself and I beg you, don't even think about mentioning this to her. She doesn't want anyone to know."

Everyone was quiet. And you wondered. They only knew the little, the smallest piece of her kindness. What would their reaction be if they found out whole?

"Artie had ever been the receiving end of this," you said, addressing your sudden lash out, and crossed your arms, "and it's not pretty."

Everyone turned to look at Artie, and you saw him sigh quietly, mouth and eyes closed.

"I'm sorry, I don't intent on taking sides, ever," Artie started, before glancing at Finn, "But Santana's not the person you think she is. She's-"

"Dude," Puck laughed, "Are you sick? Oh, or did you get a promise of making out with the two of them?"

Surprisingly, Artie looked up to the upper row and glared. You blinked.

Then he turned his gaze back to you, and his shoulders slumped.

"I'm sorry, Brittany," he said, "Now I know how it feels like. I'm sorry I ever thought, or talked about Santana that way."

You just smiled and shrugged.

"A little too late to apologize. She likes you already."

He smiled weakly, and began picking up his stuff.

"I'll just go, then. Or do you want me to help to, you know?" he asked, gesturing to the others.

"It's alright, thanks, Artie."

"Do you think playing COD will lessen her sickness?" he wondered out loud, causing you to chuckle.

"Maybe. Just come by, I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

By the time Artie's out of the choir room, you moved your neck around and tried to get comfortable, while everyone else was left in utter confusion and disbelief.

"Okay," you shifted in your seat and looked all of your friends one by one, "Where do we start?"

* * *

**Thanks for taking your time to read! **


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